Oh, the Joy of the Wal-Mart Parking Lot

30 Jun

Dear nice lady in the Wal-Mart parking lot who bit my head off,

I did not steal your Very Close Parking Space on purpose.  For some reason, I thought you were holding up the entire line of cars because you were waiting for that handicapped car to back out.  I’m not sure why I thought that.  Perhaps it’s because you were waiting behind that space with your blinker on for several minutes.  Unfortunately, they sat there motionless, unable to back out because you were too close to them.  You couldn’t back up because I was behind you, and so on.  So what did I do?  Well, naturally, when I saw that minivan back out a few spaces up, I went around you so I wouldn’t be in anyone’s way anymore.  How was I supposed to know you didn’t have one of those little blue handicapped tags dangling from your rearview mirror?  Too bad I realized a bit too late that I had completely ruined your entire day, and that you had, in fact, laid claim to said Very Close Parking Space an hour ago, when you started holding up the line.  You made your message bitterly clear by laying on your horn and waiting for me to get out of the car.  Oh, and there was also that bit where you informed me (loudly and with pointed finger, might I add) that I am, “VERY, VERY RUDE!”  I’ll be the first to admit it wasn’t the nicest thing to do when I decided not to move my car after your yelling fit, but seriously.  I was only trying to get out of the way, and I could have gotten my green beans and been back on the road in the year that spanned while I sat behind you in the lot.  I hope your legs didn’t wither as you walked the extra ten feet to the door, after you quickly found that spot a few spaces over.  

Best regards,

The Girl in the Sweaty Green Shirt


5 Responses to “Oh, the Joy of the Wal-Mart Parking Lot”

  1. kimmi Tuesday / 30 June 09 at 5:47 pm #

    hahaha oh my gosh! i loved this… i had a similar experience but in the safeway parking lot. I was driving in and didn’t see this lady crossing the road, she was walking kind of diagonally. Well, i wasn’t going fast or anything, but she freaked out and then once I got out of the car started yelling at me from across the parking lot “learn how to drive blondie!” it was frightful. 🙂

  2. Danielle Tuesday / 30 June 09 at 6:38 pm #

    Hahaha….beautifully written and hysterical. Thanks for the laugh!

  3. owlandsparrow Tuesday / 30 June 09 at 9:15 pm #

    Hey, thanks you guys. Haha, Kimmi, I’m glad you made it out of that one unscathed…It’s comforting (I think) to know I’m not the only one who gets yelled at in parking lots.

  4. sarahsophia Wednesday / 1 July 09 at 1:17 pm #

    Hilarious! You just touched on one of my pet peeves. I would love to hire you to tell people off for me!

  5. teachmelife Sunday / 6 September 09 at 7:44 pm #

    Haha this post is a perfect example of people who look for any place to complain about something that isn’t going their way instead of just letting something as trivial as this just slide off their shoulders….

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