Bzzzzzzz. Bzzzzzzz. I hear the Hungarian Dance melody of my husband’s phone somewhere in the next room. Ten minutes later, it goes off again. Once I’ve peeled myself out of bed to give Remy the Cat his morning Greenies (after a few your-foot-is-a-mouse-under-those-covers-and-I-must-pounce-and-destroy! episodes, I gave in), it goes off again. Too bad my sweet husband has the day off and I’ve never worked his phone before. Also too bad that I have no clue what time it actually is.
His phone says 7:59am when I turn off the first alarm. Mine said 8:45am when I woke up, but I’m not so sure I trust it, because last night, it said it was midnight when it was actually one in the morning. Our phone contract is up soon, and I’m convinced Sprint has this secret plan to make our phones go all haywire suddenly, which will eventually lead us to be enticed by the cheap phone + new two-year commitment = no more screwy phones deal. This would be dandy except we both want I-phones, and everyone knows (especially Sprint) that we can’t get service on them through our current provider.
This is not the first time our phone clocks have proved unreliable. Over the past two weeks, both of our phones have oscillated unpredictably between three time zones. The weirdest part is how they will revert to normal when you get a text message (sometimes) and then, five minutes later, it’s wrong again. Just Monday evening, for instance, my phone said 7:52pm on the outside display (WRONG!). I flipped it open, and the inside said 8:52pm. I flipped back and forth a few times, showed my husband, and then mysteriously, they both matched – on the wrong time.
Oh, well. At least we have a microwave, a wall clock, a wristwatch, and the digital television guide to help us figure out what time it is, right? You would think so.
Unfortunately, all of our time-keeping mechanisms decided to backfire at once. Our wall clock is almost out of batteries, so it is perpetually in the six- to ten-hour range of wrong. The power went out the other day, and our microwave needed re-setting. Whether by human error or machine vengeance, this clock now says noon when it should read ten in the morning. Then, when I was still pouting from my sore loss at Canasta (our newest game obsession), the TV news said 10:15pm in the corner, when Jimmy Kimmel had clearly finished his entire show already. A few days ago, after his set of phone alarms rang an hour early, my husband woke up to his upside down wristwatch. He thought he was crazy late for work because the time looked like 9:07 when it was really 7:15.
So…hmmm. I guess Sprint probably didn’t sabotage our microwave or the local news or the wall clock’s batteries. They probably didn’t creep in and turn his watch wrong-side up, right? Which means this is all either a very, very twisted plan to keep us from buying I-phones, or it’s just a very, very strange (not to mention annoying) coincidence. Ah, the little things we take for granted. I guess I actually figured out how to shut off his misguided alarm, since I haven’t noticed it for a while.